QUESTION: My husband and I argue over how to dissaplin our son who is 7 yrs old and was diagnosed with ADHD. Can you help us figure out a good balance? A concerned mother and wife

ANSWER:

Hi, these arguments naturally evolve out of two very well meaning parents, and people in general. That’s great. You know why? Because it’s a sign of concern and care. When it’s guided and used properly it’s power and leads to resourcefulness. You mentioned that your son was diagnosed. Today that word took on a new meaning of getting labeled with something. The true definition is learning and examining the nature of …. (ADHD). This means understanding its cause and influence on the person. B”H today we know so much about ADHD, and the facts are readily available. Once we get the facts, much of the arguments often dissipate, allowing us to use that energy and emotion in a more constructive beneficial way, with a mutual agreement. After you are aware about many of the benefits that come along with ADHD, it’s important to remind yourself that these things we want to discipline are bio-neurologically rooted. This means the behaviours or eruptions you may be experiencing, is non intentional. What may work for the non-ADHD will not work here. The child is not bad or anything else like that. Often they themselves are scared of themselves then they don’t know why they are being the way they are, out of control. Like you said “a good balance”, balance is what’s needed. For starters, when husband and wife realize that they are playing on the same team and sharing more or less the same intentions, that’s called balance. It’s so critical it cannot be overstressed. We know today what scientific affect it even has on the child’s brain, when they know mommy and daddy are really good friends. A good ADHD coach may be a great investment, you’ll learn everything you need to know and what to do the rewards are BELIEVABLE!! Hope this helps somewhat, if you’d like be in touch. Good luck